Feeling Down

I was feeling very down today.   Oh I know, it’s all just stuff but sometimes, it’s difficult to cope with everyday situations even when they are small and insignificant.  But these small and insignificant things can ultimately build up and clog the pathways of our life force, our energies, and create feelings of negativity.  Anyway, I was feeling at the time that I had fallen off the top of a big hill and rolled down in to a dark valley.
There are many things that contribute to these feelings, these emotions.

For instance, predominant talk on TV today is that of the “poverty line” and what defines someone living on and/or under poverty conditions?  hahaha, yea … right.   I challenge anyone to seriously consider this situation, to seriously consider how their lives would have to change IF their own circumstances were such that they were living on/under the poverty line.  I suppose I’m just feeling fragile at the moment.
Let me give you a for instance.  I wanted to change my mobile phone provider but, during the initial process, something happened and the credit check didn’t go through.  What a farce ensued, seeing as I am already (and still am) an existing customer taking a landline phone, television and broadband Internet from this same Provider.  So, being told that a credit check had failed feels bad enough but, when you know you are “debt and indebtedness free”, it really does irk, it sticks in the craw.  I have no loans, mortgages, overdrafts, credit cards, company or shop/store cards, nothing, and haven’t had for about 10 years.  Oh I know, I have heard people say that even having no credit lines open can cause problems and that certainly seems to be the case here.  But isn’t it pathetic?  Well, I think so.

Anyway, after being told this I felt I had to complain.  I explained on the phone of my being an existing customer of this (same) company for their other extensive services but, the customer service woman, who was thousands of miles away, (in India I think), and finding it difficult to make herself understood or indeed, in understanding me, couldn’t grasp my point.  I suppose thinking about it now doesn’t she have to listen to similar ‘carping’ all the time these days in the job she does?  Anyway, she seemed a little sympathetic but on the whole, she was totally disinterested and advised me to go to my Bank and enquire there.  So, I went to the Bank and was told by them that as far as they are concerned, there are definitely no issues.  As I said before, I have no debts, I pay my way with a debit card, I owe nothing to anyone or anything so … the Bank said the only thing that could affect a credit check like this is that if I gave my current home address which is different to where my Bank Account is registered (at my last address) … I keep this mainly because I have been doing so much travelling … then this may cause problems.

People just don’t know, realise or appreciate what these little irritating things do to people.  They don’t know or understand the what or how of stress generating situations and the complications of life.

I had had to walk about 2 miles to the Bank and 2 miles back, and at every step I was angry or sad or concerned or worried or at the very least, unsettled.  But this happens to all sorts of people all the time.

Stress … self-hijacking … self-ambushing … self-defeating … whatever you want to call it, is occurring more and more to people because of ‘current situations and conditions’.  It’s becoming a common state of being for so very many people.  And then we wonder why we are constantly hearing reports in the News of increased illnesses, increased absenteeism from work, increasing costs for rents, utilities, foods, petrol and how people can’t even afford to live … stress, stress, stress.

Anyway, back to my situation.  When I got home I felt I had to write an email to a Credit reference Agency called Experian asking for an explanation.  I still await their response.  In the meantime, realising what was going on within me, what was building up, what was happening to my peace and tranquility (what little I have) I had to sit down and meditate.  I had to slow down, to focus, to breathe and to feel and sense, sense all that was going on within me.  Only then could I expel a lot of the stresses, the tensions that were building up within me.

EQ emotional intelligence is all about awareness of the self and in strategies for dealing with our emotions, be they negative or positive.  Meditation is a great stress reliever.  Together, they are so beneficial.
Life and living today is such a trial, such a test; so many little, small, tiny irritations affecting all aspects of our lives, building, amalgamating, clogging and affecting us in such negative adverse ways.

Anyway, the upshot is … my credit report contains no negative issues (as I already knew) of worth to me other than I am apparently being penalised for not having debt.  Strange isn’t it, that in the present financial crisis you are even penalised when applying for something as simple as a low cost mobile phone contract because you have no debt?
Sorry for being down, it’ll pass.  In the meantime … ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmm breathe, breathe, breathe.

The below is a response from a dear friend of mine who I had related all of the above to.  See what you think.


Got another letter from the ‘email postmaster’ first thing this morning, telling me not to do anything but my email message had been delayed but would still be delivered!  It makes a change from the ‘it was too long’ version.  But I started to think about that and also the delay the ‘email postmaster’ had in letting me know and was reminded of your upsetting walk to the bank.  And you know, you are so damn right, it is the little things that finally can cause the empire to fall.

My supportive email to you was just a couple of sentences.  You may have already received it, but its speed of delivery to you was what would have given it it’s power, it’s importance of it’s message; such as, ‘always look on the bright side of life ……’ and letting you know I was still there, listening, supporting and communicating.  Of course the importance of ‘small’ things is the ‘big’ impact they have on an individual at a particular time.  In the moment they can be life changing, life threatening even … but in retrospect they do tend to lose their power. That is the positive side of the crap ‘little’ things: over time they lose their initial power.

But yesterday, I had a positive ‘little’ thing happen to me that I want to share with you.

I was on my way to the swimming pool and saw the postman and so pulled over to see if he had any mail for me; it would save him the drive up to the house.  He handed me a few letters and a small wedge shaped parcel.  I told him I was expecting a parcel, but not the shape of parcel he had given to me as I was expecting a book; we both agreed it wasn’t book shaped.

I set off again but kept glancing over to the parcel noting it’s packing and writing etc.  Well I couldn’t help myself and pulled over in a lay-by to open it.  I thought it must be a huge wedge of cheese or something.  So, carefully not to damage the packaging, I opened it and inside was a packet of Monsoon Malabar ground coffee.  I shook the packaging for a letter or something, well anything, to let me know who had sent it.  Nothing.

I had to look again (typical of me that, if something’s not there the first time I go to look again, just in case it reformed and reappeared).  So, I continued on my journey, had my swim, came home and all the time was wondering about the coffee.

I had decided it wasn’t a freebie from manufacturer (too expensive).  So my only clue was in the packaging.  It was addressed correctly (and that’s unusual, as we get all sorts of weird variations).  It was also hand written, capitalised and with first class stamps.  The sender was lucky in that it hadn’t been franked so no give away there.  But I realised firstly, the sender probably knew me well as I never refer to myself in the way the parcel was addressed, the address and postcode were 100% correct and also, good coffee is one of my great pleasures. So I got it down to one of my children.  Must be one that isn’t local and so it wouldn’t be (—), not because he doesn’t care but because he wouldn’t think.  It could be (—–) but she would do something hidden if she thought I was in need.  So it must be (——).  So three hours after receiving the package I phoned her.

She laughed and reminded me of something she used to do when she lived with me.  She would spend some of her time making biscuits or small cakes, maybe homemade jam, gathering fruit from the orchard or blackberries from the hedges.  She would pack them up securely and then leave them on the doorsteps of people she thought had helped us over the years.  She always did this without being seen, as she wanted it to be an anonymous gift.  It could be to the farmer who brought his digger to dig us out from snow drifts when we lived higher up the fell, the lady who brought us bread when we were snowbound, another farmer who delivered a load of wood when he knew how hard times were for me, the ladies who my children knew they could go to if they needed help and when I wasn’t back from work.  I had misplaced that memory.

Apparently she has continued to do these random acts of kindness, still anonymously.

No doubt many others are like her, but it gives me a warm feeling to know that for as many little things that can tip us over the edge there are also people actively doing their own little things to raise us back up again.

Michael Boase

CEO and EQ Consultant

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